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Flat Lander Interviews Jeffrey R. Holland of COJCOLDS
Posted on April 24th, 2010 No commentsBelow (in two parts) is an interview between our Presiding Bishop Flat Lander, and COJCOLDS Apostle Jeffrey R. Holland. In the first part of the interview Holland speaks candidly about Boyd K. Packer, and in the second interview he testifies of the divine inspiration of the writings of Jim Jones and David Koresh.
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A Noodly First Vision
Posted on February 15th, 2010 4 commentsFlat Lander talks about his release from captivity (and doesn’t even mention me) and then explains the relationship between Mormonism and Pastafarianism.
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First Presidency Thanks COJCOLDS Leadership for Embracing Moronism
Posted on October 19th, 2009 1 commentPresident Henry Eyeball, First Counselor in the First Presidency of the Moron Church of Latter-day Saints gave a speech recently near the bilge pump in the Moron Church’s underground compound somewhere in the Midwest in which he thanked leaders of COJCOLDS (that’s what we call the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) for embracing Moronism. “Moronism is our religion, and from our observations, it’s your religion too. We want to thank you COJCOLDS leaders such as Jeffrey R. Holland, Dallin H. Oaks, and Bruce C. Hafen for recent moronic speeches. We of course disagree with the content of their speeches, but are pleased they are attempting to embrace moronism.”
President Henry Eyeball
President Eyeball then magnanimously invited all of the COJCOLDS General Authorities to come to the Moron Church compound for a joint meeting. “We could watch some old Gilligan’s Islands videotapes,” he said, “but if any of you have a DVD player and want to bring it and some other videos, that would be fine also.”
President Eyeball assured the invitees that would be plenty of food. “We have lots of cheese,” he said,
‘we just have to go around and collect it out of the mousetraps.”No date for the joint meeting has yet been set.