Posted on October 22nd, 2009 No comments
Hello all you wonderful brothers and sisters. Right now, I thought I’d drop by and grace you all with my presence for just a few moments. Me and Tom L. Hairy are going to Bingo in just a few minutes, but I told him that the Moron Church comes first. Of course, after he guilted me into doing what he wants, I had to oblige. I certainly wouldn’t want to appear unwilling to sacrfice and serve my fellow men, now would I? So, I will be leaving now. I just had to make one quick ‘Hello’ post because that conscience of mine was tearing me up. I’ll come by again later and let you all know how Bingo went!
Posted on October 19th, 2009 No comments
President Boyle K. Pecker, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, convened a press conference in the men’s restroom at a rest area on Interstate 40 near Weatherford, Oklahoma recently to announce Steve Yawn has been hired as the Moron Church of Latter-day Saints new Arm Chair Quarterback. “Yawn played some sport or other,” said Pecker, demonstrating his keen grasp of details. Pecker was then trundled into the handicapped stall where he was instructed to urinate or have to wear a diaper for the return trip to the Moron Church compound.
Readers are probably familiar with the college and pro football standout Steve Yawn, who was better than Joe Montana, Joe Namath, Joe Gilliam, Joe Flacco, and all other quarterbacks named Joe combined. The wiry left hander could handle himself both on and off the field. Yawn is excited about assuming the position with the Moron Church. “I’m ready to get back into the game,” he said, “I like the action.” Yawn’s position will involve sitting in a chair, and sometimes writing something for the Moron Church’s exciting and informative website. Yawn’s immediate supervisor will be Cliff the Wino, and Yawn will not have keys to the church liquor cabinet. In a break with tradition, the Moron Church hired someone who actually has some knowledge, skills, or ability in the area for which they were hired. Yawn has been a frequent poster on ExMormonForums under the pseudonym Tommy Tummus, and will now make contributions to this website.
Please look for Yawn’s first exciting post in the near future.