Following the False Traditions of Our Fathers.
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  • About

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    Brief Introduction

    Joseph Smith, a young man from upstate New York who told lots of lies, dug for buried treasure, and was otherwise the kind of stand-up guy that God would want to have start the “One True Church” on earth, formed a church in 1830.  This was the beginning of the “Latter Day Saint movement” a Christian restorationist movement.

    This all came about after young Joseph was visited on multiple occasions by an angel.  That church was originally called the Church of Christ, but it wasn’t long before the angel apparently told Joe that the name was wrong, and Joe changed the church’s name to Church of the Latter Day Saints.  A few years later (probably after more visits from the angel) Joe again changed the name of the church to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (notice, no hyphen, capital “D” in “Day.”)

    Joe Smith took some pride in the fact that he had little schooling, and it is well known that he told lots of lies, and sometimes would just act the fool to annoy people.  These things probably explain why Joe never got the name right, and messed up a few other details in the church.  The Moron Church of Latter-day Saints is a restoration of the restoration that Joe screwed up.

    Joe and his successors have done such a job of filling the world and subsequent churches of the Latter Day Saint movement with incorrect teachings that this, the Moron Church of Latter-day Saints has been formed to correct the errors.

    At some point in time not clearly documented (in the tradition of Joe Smith’s vague recollections about restoration of the Melchizedek Priesthood) Joe came back AS an angel and brought with him the original angel who visited him.  The original angel’s name was MORON, specifically Moron the First, often abbreviated as Moron I.  Whether due to Joe’s bad handwriting or some other more nefarious reason (such as he liked to tell lies) the angel’s name was incorrectly recorded as Moroni (instead of Moron I).

    Moron I directed the restoration of the church, this time with the correct name, the Moron Church of Latter-day Saints.

    A Moron Church chapel.

    A Moron Church chapel.

    Our Doctrine

    The Moron Church of Latter-day Saints believes essentially the same thing as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, whose Moronic beliefs are quite well documented.  Moronic teachings in Mormonism are found everywhere.  In fact, at the Moron Church of Latter-day Saints, we say that if it’s a Mormon teaching, it’s a Moronic teaching.

    Various Mormon and Latter-day Saint churches have instituted lay teaching of other members in their homes, often using names such as “home teaching,” “visiting teaching,” “home visiting,” etc.  All similar efforts will now be combined and known simply by the term “Moron Teaching,” or “Teaching the Morons in Their Homes.”

    Join Us!

    As explained above, Joe Smith misunderstood the name of the first angel who came to visit him.  Joe thought it was Moroni, when in fact it was Moron I.  The book named for his father is also correctly called the “Book of Moron” since his father’s actual name was Moron O.

    Moron I’s promise in the 10th chapter of Moron I is accurate, unfortunately Mormons have been applying this prayer to the wrong book.  Nevertheless, God, in his wisdom, confirmed the truth of the Book of Moron to everyone who prayed about it, even if they mistakenly prayed about the book by the wrong name.

    Since the Lord has recently restored this church to the earth to correct the misunderstanding that Joe Smith caused when he created the Latter Day Saint movement this invitation is now extended to all who have followed in the teachings of Joe Smith.

    All Latter Day Saints, of whatever denomination (e.g. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Apostolic United Brethren, Lion of God Ministry, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, etc.) resign your membership in those mistaken Latter Day Saint churches and apply for membership in the Moron Church of Latter-day Saints.

    When applying for membership, applicants should include a one-time tithing of 10 percent of their net worth.  (Tithing must be paid in US Dollars or in Euros—no stocks, bonds permitted— other currencies accepted with prior approval.)  Now, with the stock market having suffered historic declines, applicants may never again have such a low net worth on which to pay their one-time tithe.  We encourage everyone to apply now, and pay the once-in-a-lifetime tithe before the stock market rebounds.

    But Wait, There’s More

    To encourage Latter Day Saints to find this, the One True Church, the Moron Church of Latter-day Saints is offering a special one-time rate of four percent tithing to applicants who apply before June 1, 2009.

    That’s it!  Everyone who pays a once in a lifetime tithe of four percent of will receive a lifetime membership in the Moron Church of Latter-day Saints.

    Benefits include the knowledge and satisfaction of having joined the One True Moronic Church, restored in these latter days, to correct the original error made by Joe Smith.  Other benefits include tremendous financial benefits as applicants will never again have to pay tithing on their income to any of the Latter Day Saint churches that were restored in error.