Hinckley: “Monson is an Ass” Packer is Evil

Moron Church of Latter-day Saints Presiding Bishop Flat Lander recently conducted a post-baptism interview with Gordon B. Hinckley, former President and Prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who was baptized by proxy into the Moron Church.

BFL: Congratulations on your baptism in the Moron Church of Latter-day Saints, Gordon.

HINCKLEY: Does this cancel my baptism in COJCOLDS?

BFL: We can put in a cancellation for you if you wish.

HINCKLEY: Yes, please do.

BFL: Not a problem. You had quite a bit of administrative experience when you were alive, we were thinking of putting you to work for us now.

HINCKLEY: Go F—– Yourself!

BFL: Oh.

HINCKLEY: I’m dead and I’m not working a regular job ever again.

BFL: Fair enough, how about a position as a part-time consultant?

HINCKLEY: What’s it pay?

BFL: What do you want?

HINCKLEY: I’ll get back to you on that. When do I start?

BFL: Right now. Our membership drive isn’t going quite as well as we would like. Do you have any insights on how we can increase our numbers?

HINCKLEY: In COJCOLDS we mostly used deception and guilt.

BFL: We have standards.

HINCKLEY: Then why did you hire me?

BFL: Maybe you could just tell me some of COJCOLDS’s biggest secrets.

HINCKLEY: Monson is an ass.

BFL: I knew that.

HINCKLEY: Packer and Oaks hate each other and both are pure evil.

BFL: I knew that too.

HINCKLEY: Anything else I can help you with?

BFL: I’ll get back to you on that.