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New Church Manual Now Available
Posted on July 23rd, 2010 3 comments
New Church Manual available to Latter Day Saints just received from the planet Kolob in the Celestial Kingdom. This manual has been updated as of July 28, 2010 to offer even more important insights than it did before. Future updates are expected. Check back frequently.
UPDATED VERSION – July 28, 2010
Our friends at the Church of Intergalactic Jesus of Apocalyptic-times Saints have published a new manual (and it was actually produced on the planet Kolob in the Celestial Kingdom!) and have graciously allowed us to make it available to all Latter Day Saints on Earth. The new updated version comes with the following warning from its publisher
***WARNING***
This pamphlet might offend you if you are:
Black
Female
Gay
Asian
Poor
An Astronaut
To get the complete seven-page pamphlet/manual in PDF form, click here.
This manual has the power to change lives. Please download it, and share it with everyone you know. If you are a member of a Latter Day Saint church, please produce copies of this and distribute it to your fellow church members, through ward and stake newsletters and bulletins, etc.
Unconfirmed reports are that COJCOLDS approves the distribution of this pamphlet, because there is a picture of Thomas S. Monson in the manual, so if you are a member of COJCOLDS, you can probably feel comfortable that you have permission to distribute this to people at church and by any means possible.
We Latter Day Saints must do all we can to Bring the World It’s Truth! So, I say, Come, Come Ye Saints, Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel, and Do What Is Right!
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3 responses to “New Church Manual Now Available”

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This is the shizzle but I have another great gig going for me so I can’t directly endorse this. Be sure to check out my “Count Chocula” cereal at your local grocery store.
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Shirley Temple July 26th, 2010 at 06:17
All I need to follow the Brethren! Thanks
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TracyCD July 30th, 2010 at 19:00
What if I’m Asian, female and masturbate? Will I become a homosexual male? Not the face!
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Tommy Monson July 23rd, 2010 at 13:30