Following the False Traditions of Our Fathers.
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  • S. Tommy Monsoon – Prophet and President

    Posted on April 7th, 2009 admin    First Prez No comments
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    Prophet S. Tommy Monsoon

    Born Osama bin Monson, Monsoon took his current prophetic name in honor of the storms that plague many parts of the globe.   “Monsoons are big storms with lots of blowing wind and hard-driven rain,” said the Moron Church leader.  “And like both Moron and Mormon leaders before me, I focus my personal ministry on being a big blowhard.”

    Monsoon clearly has been blessed with special gifts that allow him to lead the Moron Church of Latter-day Saints.  “I have three nipples,” he recently told a church publication.  “That extra nipple comes in very handy in certain sacred temple ordinances that I can’t talk about with people who only have two nipples.”

    Monsoon knew from a young age that he would be called to be a leader among the Morons.  “I have been visited by angels many times,” he said, “and they always told me that if I would share my liquor with them, they would put in a good word for me with the Big Guy.  It obviously worked, because here I am, and those angels are still lying drunk in an alley in Salt Lake City.”

    In the photo, notice the tattoo of the temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on the prophet’s shoulder.  Normally the sacred temple tattoos are only shown to impressionable young women who show special interest in the Prophet behind closed doors.

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