Temple Ordinances To Be Restored

Continued Restorations Resulting from the Plastic Cassette Audiotapes

Exciting restorations continue to be found in the Plastic Cassette Audiotapes (see story here) recently delivered to the Church HQ.  Two temple ordinances that should have been restored to the earth during the time of Joseph Smith will be added during the next major revision of temple services scheduled for later this year.  “The ordinances of the ‘back rub’ and the ‘foot massage’ were never properly restored,” said Henry Eyeball of the First Presidency.  “When the angel Moron I was giving instructions to Joseph Smith about these ordinances, the Prophet can be heard snoring, so he apparently just missed these two ordinances.”

“Both the back rub and the foot massage will be performed in conjunction with temple wedding and sealing ceremonies,” said Eyeball.  “In each case it is the husband who gives the back rub or foot massage to the wife while reciting a specific prayer.”  Eyeball said that due to the sacred nature of the prayer, the words are not being made public at this time, but he did indicate that couples would be permitted to perform these ordinances in the privacy of their own homes at their own discretion.

Eyeball offered a few more tidbits about the new ordinances, “While the back rub ordinance is only for the living, the foot massage ordinance can be performed vicariously for the dead.  This is because there is a lot of walking in the Celestial Kingdom,” he said.  “God hasn’t put in public transit yet, so people get a lot of sore feet in heaven.”

(See related story “New Priesthood Forthcoming.”)