Following the False Traditions of Our Fathers.
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  • Corrections Received for “The Spirit of God”

    Posted on April 11th, 2009 admin    Plastic Cassette Audiotapes No comments

    The Plastic Cassette Audiotapes are continuing to produce fascinating new information about the continuing restoration of the restoration originally screwed up by Joseph Smith.  Recently information about the classic hymn “The Spirit of God” written by early Latter Day Saint, W.W. Phelps was gleaned by listening to a meeting of Joseph Smith, W.W. Phelps, and the Angel Moron One.

    The first stanza as usually sung (below) contains a few errors.

    The Spirit of God like a fire is burning;
    The latter day glory begins to come forth;
    The visions and blessings of old are returning;
    The angels are coming to visit the earth.

    The first line should make reference not to God’s spirit burning, but to his “shirt” being on fire.  Apparently God was smoking in bed and caught his shirt on fire.

    The second line attempted to explain that Smith organized the church on the wrong day, instead of April 6th, he should have formed it on the fourth as explained in the following correct transcription of the second line:

    The latter day glory begins on April fourth.

    The corrected third and fourth lines of the first stanza give some indication as to why the errors occurred in the first place.

    The old blurry vision is returning
    The beer and ale is making us burp.

    Here is the chorus as usually sung:

    We’ll sing and we’ll shout with the armies of heaven:
    Hosanna, hosanna to God and the Lamb!
    Let glory to them in the highest be given,
    Henceforth and forever: amen and amen!

    but here is the corrected version.

    We’ll drink some stout with the armies, by heaven!
    Oh shit, oh shit, the bartender wants to be paid.
    Get Gloria to give him her [censored]
    Third, fourth and forever, Oh man!  Oh man!

    The rest of the verses are equally appalling, and the song will be removed from the hymnal at the next printing.  Patrons may wish remove this hymn from existing hymnals.

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